Restless Heart Read online

  Her heart stuttered at the thought this stranger, a man who’d barely known her for six months, would be willing to be her surrogate family. The kindness was unexpected and touching. It took a moment for her to find her voice.

  “Jessup, that’s very nice of you. I’m not sure what to say.” And she didn’t. How could she feel kinder toward a man she hardly knew than her own father? Her father who had more or less given her away like cattle to a man who had a soul darker than pitch. And here was Jessup, her less than clean protector, taking on the role of a father. Her eyes pricked with tears.

  “Oh, you don’t gotta say nothing.” He snapped his suspenders. “Now, I seen Sam moping around, and I seen you moping around. It seems to me you ought to get to courting so there’s no more moping.”

  It was as simple as that to Jessup – stop fighting the urge to be together and simply be together. She wanted to follow his suggestion so badly, her fists clenched around the small reticule. It would be so easy to give in, but it wouldn’t be fair to Sam. There was no future with Angeline other than a broken heart and empty promises.

  “I don’t think I can do that.” She swallowed the lump of regret. “Mr. Carver should find another girl to court.”

  “What if he doesn’t want another girl to court?” Sam’s deep voice came from behind her, startling her so badly, she must’ve jumped a foot in the air.

  Angeline closed her eyes and counted to five before she answered. “Then he’s set himself up for heartbreak.”

  She felt him step up behind her, his scent and the heat from his body washing over her.

  “I’m willing to take that risk. Are you?”

  What could she say? “Oh, by the way I’m married.” Although in the eyes of the law, she had lived in sin as the third wife to a church elder with hard fists and a nasty disposition. The truth was simply too horrible to speak.

  His hands closed around her shoulders, and her entire body sighed with relief. This was what she’d needed and wanted without realizing it. His touch, his very presence in her life. Angeline didn’t know what connected her to him, but she knew it was strong.

  “I don’t know, Mr. Carver.” Her voice was so soft, she hardly heard it, but she felt it.

  “I asked you to call me Sam.”

  He turned her around to face him, but she didn’t look up. Instead, she focused on the red and black plaid shirt stretched across the broad expanse of his chest. She was embarrassed to note there were no chest hairs poking up through the neck of his shirt. That made her wonder just how smooth his chest was, and then a low thrum began deep inside her.

  Sam put his finger on her chin and raised her face until she met his gaze. His dark eyes were just as fascinating as she’d remembered, and up close, they were riveting.

  “I can’t stop thinking about you, awake or asleep. I almost hammered my own hand this morning. If you don’t say yes to me courting you, I’m liable to do something really stupid.” His thumb brushed her skin, and shiver snaked straight down her spine. “Please.”

  “You’d best say yes, Miss Angeline,” the old man said, “so’s I can be on my way.”

  She’d forgotten about Jessup.

  Sam smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “Angel, say yes,” his husky whisper skimmed across her skin.

  Angeline should say no, should step out of his reach and go to the store. She knew it, but she also knew she wasn’t going to.

  “Yes.”

  A loud whoop sounded from behind her as Sam leaned down to brush his lips against her cheek. Tingles turned into something more at the touch. Angeline knew she’d made a choice, but whether it was the right one remained to be scene.

  You should have told him about Josiah.

  She pushed away the guilty voice inside her and focused on the incredible man in front of her. He cupped her cheek, and his eyes darkened.

  “You’re so beautiful, sometimes I wonder if you really are an angel. I could stare at you for hours and never get tired of the view. And your skin is softer than a rose petal.” He almost looked embarrassed at what came out of his mouth.

  Angeline, on the other hand, thought it was much more than that. There hadn’t been many compliments doled out in the house she’d grown up in. Vanity had been discouraged, as was celebrating individuality. She’d known she wasn’t unattractive, but she’d never thought of herself beautiful. Until Sam told her so on a dusty street in Forestville, Wyoming, on a sunny morning.

  “Thank you.” Her voice was husky with emotion, and it was her turn to be embarrassed.

  “You’re welcome. Now, can I escort you to wherever you’re going?”

  Angeline wondered what people would say, but then pushed aside the thought. This wasn’t Tolson, and every move she made wasn’t catalogued in the good and bad columns of life. Walking arm and arm with Sam would simply be enjoyable.

  “Yes, please. I’m going to the store to buy baking soda for Marta.”

  Sam looked over her head. “Thanks, Jessup. You can be on your way.” He met her gaze again. “I’ll look after Miss Angeline now.”

  The sound of his voice made her want to curl up in front of a fire next to him. To wake up in the morning to that husky, rumbly voice. To hear him whisper in her ear again. Oh, so many wishes and wants—Angeline had definitely gone far beyond what had been considered acceptable in her old life.

  However, now, she was living life for herself, and no one else. It felt pretty damn good, too.

  He held out his arm, and she slipped hers into the crook of his elbow. His strength was obvious in the firmness of his muscles and the confident way he patted her hand. They walked arm and arm down the sidewalk, and that’s when Angeline noticed something.

  Sam walked with a limp.

  In all the times she’d been with him, he’d been sitting or standing near her. She’d never been close enough to realize he had a hitch in his step. Angeline wanted to ask him what injury had caused the problem but didn’t want to be rude just after accepting his offer to court her.

  The limp made his stride match hers even though his legs were longer. It was as if whatever had happened to his leg had made him slow down long enough for her to catch up. Angeline smiled at the thought, earning a few smiles in return from folks walking down the street.

  By the time they reached the store, she wanted to keep going. To walk for hours with Sam beside her, but Marta was waiting. Angeline had to get the baking soda back to her, or the dinner meal would be affected. Regret seeped through her bones as they walked into the store.

  “I need to get baking soda, so it will take only a minute or two.”

  Sam held the door opened for her. “Take your time. I finished Widow Primrose’s fence with Jessup’s help, so I’m free until this afternoon.”

  “Jessup’s help?” She didn’t know the old man had any skills as a carpenter.

  Sam looked sheepish. “Well, he came to talk to me about you like he was your pa or something. Wanted to make sure my intentions were honorable. After he found out I was looking to court you, he helped me finish the fence so I could ask you.”

  Angeline’s heart fluttered. Again, the insight and thoughtfulness of a man most people ignored was humbling. Jessup was a very good person, and from now on, she would be sure he didn’t have to eat scraps for meals. She’d make sure he got a plate of hot food every meal. After all, they were family now.

  Sam courted her each day for a month. He would arrive for breakfast at the restaurant and ask for Angeline at his table. It got to the point where young Alice wouldn’t even say hello to him anymore. She’d simply walk into the kitchen then walk back out with Angeline behind her.

  The sight of the woman he was rapidly falling in love with would send his heart racing and his dick pulsing. She would smile shyly at him and ask him what he wanted to order.

  Each day, he brought her a gift, a rock, a seed pod, a beautiful flower, a leaf, or even a pine cone. She accepted each gift with grace, and sometimes, she was even a
s fascinated as he with the piece of nature.

  Sam wanted her to be at peace with the world around her. His mother had taught him when there was an imbalance, when a living being did not embrace the earth as they should, then peace would not be achieved.

  Angeline had no peace. It shone clearly in her gaze that she was struggling daily to fight whatever imbalance was in her soul. Sam promised himself he’d help her find that balance and that peace.

  The gifts were small pieces of the world outside the restaurant, the place she’d hidden inside since her arrival in Forestville. He could count on one hand how many times she’d left the restaurant completely. The walk to the store where he’d finally convinced her to let him court her had been the fifth time.

  Five was a special number, one he kept in mind with each gift. So, he brought her five of each piece of nature, one a day from different trees, plants, or areas. With each gift, he saw the shadows in her blue eyes begin to recede.

  Day by day, she was finding peace. Sam would ask her a question after he gave her the gift, something to find out a bit more about her.

  He knew her favorite color was blue, that she loved to read, that her little finger was crooked, one ear was higher than the other, and that she blushed when he complimented her. That told him Angeline had never had much praise or recognition in her life.

  Sam didn’t want to overwhelm her with daily compliments, so he saved them to give to her when she seemed the saddest. That was the one thing he felt would be his fiercest battle to conquer—the sadness in her soul.

  It was a Friday morning, early enough the sun was skimming across the ground, raising a mist of warmth from the cool dirt. He had found a fossil of a leaf when he’d been digging the new outhouse at the hotel. Not that he’d tell her where he found it, digging a new shithole wasn’t his idea of a topic for discussion while courting.

  However, the fossil was special, as unique as Angeline. He kept it tucked into his hand while this thumb ran over the indentations in the soft stone.

  As he stepped into the restaurant, his heart thumped madly. He was about to ask Angeline to do something other than talk to him. She could say no, which in Sam’s limited experience with women, would be devastating.

  Alice rolled her eyes when she saw him. “Do you ever stay home for breakfast?”

  Sam was tense enough that her snide comment made his temper rise. “Is there some reason why you’re always ornery around me?”

  “She’s jealous.” Karen, the older waitress with the little boy, looked at Alice with one brow raised. “None of her gaggle of beaus have courted her so, ah, regularly.”

  “I am not jealous of an orphan with a half-breed courting her,” Alice sneered. “I just get sick of getting Angeline from the kitchen every morning.”

  Sam endured the hits with the same stoicism he had developed over the course of his life. That didn’t mean the insult didn’t sting.

  “You’re green-eyed jealous.” Karen laughed as Alice’s face flushed.

  “Shut your mouth, Karen. At least I don’t tumble into the sheets with every man who smiles at me.” Alice stomped out the front door, leaving an uncomfortable silence and an embarrassed audience.

  Karen flapped her hand as she averted her gaze from Sam. “Pay her no never mind. She’s young and full of vinegar.”

  Sam wanted to offer her sympathy for the young woman’s comments but figured she would rather him ignore it. He chose to simply nod at her, and then walk toward the kitchen. Toward Angeline. Away from the insults young Alice had decided to heap upon him for no apparent reason.

  He rubbed the fossil in his hand as he stepped into the kitchen. Angeline glanced up from cranking the handle on the coffee grinder. Her surprise gave way to a shy smile.

  Sam felt immediately better.

  “Good morning, Angel.”

  “Good morning, Sam.”

  “Hello to you too, Mr. Carver.” Marta chuckled from the stove as she laid bacon into a frying pan, and the sizzle and aroma filled the kitchen.

  “Good morning, Marta.” Sam smiled at the older woman. “It smells wonderful in here.”

  “Where is Alice? She usually comes to get our Angeline.” Marta wiped her hands on her apron.

  “She, uh, had to step outside for a minute.”

  Marta frowned. “Step outside? I ain’t never known her to step outside unless the building was afire.” She peered at Sam’s face, and he felt her looking through him like a mother who always knew when her child lied. “She has a mean mouth, I know that. Don’t listen to what she says if she was using her sharp tongue on you.”

  “Don’t worry, Marta, I’ll be fine.” He turned to Angeline, who was now frowning too.

  “What did she say to you?” Angeline asked.

  “Nothing I want to talk about.” He glanced at the coffee grounds. “I don’t suppose you have any coffee brewed already?”

  She didn’t smile but did nod. “I can bring some out to your table. With your eggs, bacon, and biscuits.”

  Sam took her hand and kissed the back. “You remember what I like for breakfast.”

  “How could she not? You’ve been ordering the same doggone thing for a month.” Marta harrumphed from the stove.

  Angeline’s mouth twitched. “Two eggs over easy, three biscuits, and four pieces of bacon with black coffee.”

  Sam laughed and kissed her hand again. “You really are my angel.”

  Their gazes locked, and a pulse snapped between them. Every small hair on his body rose to attention, as did a flush on her cheeks. The connection was so strong, all it took was a simple touch and one look.

  He turned her hand over and put the fossil on her palm. “Today’s gift. It’s special, just like you are.”

  Marta made some kind of noise but wisely kept quiet. Sam appreciated that, although he wished he and Angeline were alone.

  Angeline turned the small fossil over in her hand, peering at it, then running her finger along the ridges of the leaf pattern.

  “What is it?”

  “It’s called a fossil. Millions of years ago, a leaf fell into the mud, and it was buried beneath the rocks and dirt. The leaf didn’t survive, but it left an echo of what it was behind. My father taught me about them.” He watched the wonder spread across her face.

  “Millions of years ago? I could never imagine something like this survived for so long.”

  “It was protected by the dirt and rocks, cocooned in the warmth of the layers above it.” He imagined himself as the dirt and rocks and Angeline as the delicate fossil to protect.

  “This is too much to give me as a gift.” She held it out to him, her face a mask of self-sacrifice. “I can’t accept it.”

  “You accepted the book.”

  “That was different. I, um, wanted to read it,” she confessed. “In fact, I’ve read it four times already.”

  That was news to him. Since he’d given her the book, nearly two months ago, she hadn’t mentioned it once. Now to hear she had been reading it over and over, well, that made him feel even bolder.

  “Then you can accept the fossil. I found it while I was digging, uh, for a job.” He still wouldn’t admit he had found it while digging a new shithouse.

  “Are you sure?” Her blue eyes were full of delight.

  “Never surer of anything in my life.”

  She finally smiled again. “Thank you, Sam.”

  “You’re welcome, Angel.” He regretfully let go of her hand. “I’d like to ask you to take a walk with me today, after dinner is over. Down to the lake and back.”

  She looked startled, as if she hadn’t expected him to ask her to go anywhere, ever. “A walk?”

  “Oh, say yes Angeline. He’s been faithfully courting you for a month and ain’t asked you for nothing but eggs.” Marta threw up her hands. “I was beginning to think he wasn’t gonna even ask.”

  Angeline met his gaze, asking him without words if he would keep her safe, even from him.

  He answered
her with a wide grin. “Miss Angeline Hunter, would you do me the honor of accompanying me on a walk to the lake at three this afternoon?”

  She giggled, sounding more like a young woman than she ever had. To his surprise, she curtseyed. “I would be honored, Mr. Samuel Carver. If we can stop on the way back at the livery, I’d like you to meet my horse.”

  He whooped and sent a prayer of thanks to the gods around them. Sam was finally getting through her shell, through the wall that kept her away from everyone and everything.

  The fossil really was special.

  Sam couldn’t believe she’d said yes. Not only that, but she’d agreed to take a walk with him after dinner. It was warming up outside, spring was starting to spread its wings. He planned to walk down to the lake with her, stealing her away for a couple of hours from the kitchen she spent so much time in.

  He peered at his reflection in the looking glass and frowned. The scar on his eyebrow made his eyes uneven, but there was nothing he could do about it. He’d suffered worse than the wound on his face, much worse.

  “What are you doing?” His father stood in the doorway, a smear of newsprint on his wrinkled cheek.

  “I’m getting ready to go courting.” Sam couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face.

  “Courting?” His father scratched his nose. “What woman in their right mind wants a crippled husband?”

  Sam’s stomach flipped while his heart flopped. He didn’t know what would possess his father to be so cruel.

  “I mean, Sparrow doesn’t want you. I’m the one she loves.” His father spoke of his mother as if she were the one being courted. It made the sting of his words less painful but not by much.

  “Pa, I’m Sam, your son, remember? I’m courting Angeline. She works in the kitchen at The Blue Plate.” Sam tried to swallow the lump in his throat, but it was firmly lodged in place.

  “The Blue Plate? Isn’t that the place Marta and Pieter want to open?” His father looked so confused his brows nearly touched.