On His Knees Read online

  Renny might look different, and be acting differently, but she wasn’t the type to spy on anyone. If anything, she was too private, too secretive and gave others the same courtesy.

  That meant she tied him up to punish him. Nicholas figured she was angry, hurt, and confused about his leaving. Perhaps his mousy ex-wife had discovered a vixen beneath her closed exterior. That fact that would have delighted him to no end if they’d still been married. Even now the thought made him ache for her, in more ways than one.

  “When are you going to untie me?” His hands were getting a little numb.

  “After you tell me the truth.”

  “The truth about what?”

  She threw her hands up in the air. “About everything. For God’s sake, Nicholas! Don’t be deliberately obtuse with me. You threw me out like yesterday’s trash and I want to know why.”

  Nicholas stomach cramped. He didn’t want to tell her, that was for sure. He’d hurt her enough already. “Renny, I ... I can’t.”

  “Then I hope you enjoy living on my floor.”

  She stood and stomped over to the bed where something bright blue caught his eye. It looked like ... hell it was a vibrator! Renny refused to even consider sex toys when they were married and now she’d gone out and purchased her own. Nicholas knew then that he’d entered the Twilight Zone.

  “Is that a vibrator?”

  She stopped in mid-stomp and set her foot down slowly. Turning, she leveled an angry gaze at him. “It’s none of your business.”

  “Bullshit! Our marriage fell apart partly because you wouldn’t even consider anything beyond the missionary position, much less toys. It sure as hell is my business.”

  Renny grabbed the vibrator and a bottle of lube and held them in her hands with an evil grin on her face. Nicholas’ heart jumped. What the hell was she planning to do?

  “Oh, so our marriage failed because I didn’t fuck the way you wanted me to?” The soft tone did not match the sparks shooting from her eyes.

  “That’s not what I said.”

  “But it’s what you meant right?”

  She practically sashayed toward him and he wiggled away like a side-winding snake.

  “No, and don’t put words in my mouth.”

  “I’ll put something else in your mouth instead.”

  She got down on all fours and crawled toward him, the bright blue vibrator clutched in one hand, the lube in the other. Nicholas couldn’t help the burst of sexual excitement that raced through him. Renny almost looked dangerous. She’d never been aggressive or even remotely uninhibited and here she was, stalking him like a lioness getting ready to have dinner.

  “Renny?”

  “Let me show you exactly what I like to do since you seem to think my repressed sexuality ruined our marriage.”

  Before he knew it, she’d whipped off her panties and stuffed them in his mouth, not too far though. He could have spit them out, but he didn’t. Her essence coated his tongue and he knew then that she was turned on too. He couldn’t pinpoint the reason, he just knew his dick was growing by the second and he ached with the need to touch her.

  She sat in front of him and spread her legs wide so he was treated to a clear view of her pussy, her shaven pussy. Sweet Jesus. The blood rushed from his head.

  “Like it? Me too. I shave it all the time, Nicky baby. Smooth and silky.”

  She pulled the T-shirt up and off and sat in front of him completely naked with her raspberry nipples looking as tight as diamonds and a pussy that begged to be licked. She cupped her breasts and pinched the nipples and Nicholas’ whole body jerked. He sucked gently on her panties, mesmerized.

  One of her hands crept down her body toward her core and he held his breath until a finger swept in and dipped. She immediately brought the finger to her mouth and tasted. He moaned from somewhere near his toes.

  “It tastes good too. See what you were missing, Nicky? You never ate my pussy ... well, maybe twice in ten years. I needed it, I wanted it, and all you wanted was for me to suck your cock. Well, tit for tat, baby. I didn’t want to give what I wasn’t getting.”

  She shifted to her knees and crawled closer like a blonde cat, her breasts swinging, the nipples begging for his touch.

  “Now I’m going to show you how I like it.”

  Renny turned around and showed him her wet cunt, spreading her knees so he missed nothing. A foot away and all he could do was watch. He’d never been as hard in his life.

  She picked up the vibrator, turned it on low, and slid the ribbed head up both thighs. When the head touched her clit, she mewled. Slowly, she rubbed it back and forth, driving him slowly insane.

  “This is what I like. I want to be touched, excited, and pleased by my partner, rubber or human. Not just a quick fuck on Sunday morning. Look, Nicky, can you see how wet I am?”

  He grunted and wished his hands were free to rub his cock.

  “Can you smell me?”

  Damn straight he could.

  “Wish you could touch me?”

  He grunted again. At this rate, he’d come in his pants without touching.

  Renny pushed the head of the vibrator in and out, wicked torment. Each time the blue disappeared into the pink a bit farther. Nicholas found himself humping the carpet along with her rhythm.

  Soon the entire vibrator was pumping in and out of her, faster and faster. She turned up the speed and rubbed her clit each time she pulled it out. Bracing herself with one hand, she fucked herself good, so good in fact that he came. It roared through him like white water rapids, shocking in its intensity and unexpectedness.

  She came soon after, bucking and jerking against the vibrator, her juices flowing down to spatter on the pewter carpet. Through it all, he’d tasted her juices on her panties, and wondered how he could have never known Renny.

  She pulled out the vibrator and it landed on the carpet next to his knee.

  “Don’t you wish this had been your cock? Too bad you threw me away, Nicky.”

  He wanted to yell and scream. He hadn’t thrown her away. He’d run away.

  Renny practically flew into the bathroom. Shaking, she sat on the side of the cold tub and wondered what the hell she’d just done.

  Jesus Christ.

  Some demon must have possessed her, because she sure as hell never even thought about fucking herself with a vibrator in front of anyone, much less her ex-husband who was tied up like a Christmas turkey.

  Her body throbbed with excitement, that languorous lick of adrenaline that coursed through after an orgasm. It had probably been the single most intense orgasm of her life, too. Maybe tying him up had been a freeing point in her life. Finally putting that ghost to bed, no pun intended.

  She flipped the water on hot and stepped into the spray, chasing away the fear that nibbled around the edges. There was nothing to be afraid of. If she was right, he’d been just as excited as she was.

  A dangerous combination.

  Nicholas lay there in the semi-darkness and wondered why he wasn’t pissed. She’d tied him up, masturbated in front of him, then left him on the floor alone. He wasn’t angry at all. In fact, he wondered what she’d do next.

  Just the thought made him hard again.

  Chapter Three

  The shower was exactly what she needed to calm down, to get control back after it had slipped so badly. She’d wanted Nicholas to give her answers; unfortunately the ones he’d given her just made her mad. She needed honesty, not bullshit from his pride.

  She toweled off slowly, making sure he lay on the floor alone for a while. That would teach him to break into her house and scare the living shit out of her for a baseball bat. She couldn’t focus on the bat or she’d want to hit him with it again.

  Sliding on her purple satin robe, Renny felt empowered again. Sexy, tough, and determined. Never mind that her hands still shook a bit. She’d spent the last year getting her head on straight and life had never been so good. Now she needed to lay her past to rest with Nicholas and everything would be settled.

  When she pulled open the bathroom door and saw Nicholas, a thump went through her body. He was so gorgeous with his jet black hair and chocolate eyes, the way his smile lit his entire face. And his hands. Jesus, she dreamed of his callused hands on her hips and breasts. Just seeing him again set her back months on her journey to self-discovery.

  Still, she loved him. That would likely never change. After all she couldn’t make her heart do something it didn’t want to.

  With a deep breath for courage, she stepped into the bedroom and walked over to Nicholas. He popped one eye open.

  “I have a really bad headache. Do you have something I can take?”

  A smidge of guilt flittered through her as to the cause of his headache, but she waved it aside.

  “I think I’ve got some aspirin in the kitchen.” Renny stepped over him, hoping he got a nice clear view of her pussy on the way by. A short intake of breath confirmed he had.

  She returned in a minute with a glass of water and two pills. Since he was tied up, there was no way he could take them or even hold the glass. She kneeled on the floor next to him.

  “Open wide, Nicky.”

  He frowned but opened his mouth dutifully. She slid the first pill down his tongue to the back. The slick heat of his mouth slammed through her hand all the way to her nipples, which peaked like turkey timers. She held his head and let the water slide into his mouth. When he swallowed a dribble slid out the side and landed on her hand. Setting the glass back down, she put the other pill in his mouth and he deliberately licked her fingers. A frisson of pure arousal replaced the tingles she’d been feeling. This time when she held the glass to his lips, she made sure to remove her hand quickly.

  Renny needed to maintain control and getting horny wasn’t helping.

  “Now it’s time to answer some questions. I’m not untying you until you give me every answer either.” She set the glass on the nightstand and sat with her back against the mattress, legs out straight.

  He looked at her suspiciously. “What questions?”

  “Let’s start with an easy one. Why did you leave me?”

  His dark eyes never left hers. “That sure as hell isn’t an easy one.”

  “Well, then you’d better get started.”

  He rolled his head to the side and stared at the ceiling. “There isn’t a one sentence answer to that, Renny. You know as well as I do that our marriage was over at least three years before I left, we just hadn’t had the funeral yet.”

  That hit her straight in the gut, stinging like a bullet. “Three years? So I was just a pity case to you? Gorgeous stud marries fat chick as a good Samaritan?”

  “Don’t start that shit again! God, Renny, I never, ever thought of you as the fat chick or anything like that. I loved you for who you were, not the size of your fucking ass.”

  He actually sounded like he meant that. It was hard to believe though. Renny knew she needed to lose at least sixty pounds to get in the proper weight range for her height. There was no doubt she was overweight and it had stunted her self-esteem.

  “Okay, then, what? What did I do wrong?”

  “You didn’t do anything wrong.” He sighed. “It just ... it’s just like we were roommates, not husband and wife.”

  “You mean, sex?”

  “Sex, life, dinner, movies, books. Everything. Nothing connected between us anymore. I don’t know if we just grew apart or if it wasn’t there to begin with.”

  Something inside her woke up and agreed with him. They didn’t have anything in common by the last year of their marriage. Renny went out with her friends to see the movies she wanted to, or to concerts. Nicholas did the same ‑‑ they were never together except at home.

  “So why didn’t you just tell me?”

  “I did! Jesus, I asked you to go with me all the time to do stuff, but you always said no. What was I supposed to do, drag you?”

  Renny stared in his dark eyes and memories danced across her mind. Nicholas asking her to go white water rafting, hiking, or to a baseball game. She had always said no, and she never invited him to go out with her friends either. Oh boy, now that hurt. A lot. Did she really exclude him from her life?

  “What about sex?” she blurted.

  “What about it?”

  “Was it good? Was it enough?” She knew the answer before she asked the question, but she had to hear it. Not having this conversation with Nicholas before now was like a festering wound demanding attention.

  “I ...” he paused. “I don’t want to hurt you anymore than I already have.”

  “I guess that’s my answer.” She stood and headed back to the bathroom, and the tissues.

  “Renny wait! Please. I didn’t say it was you, it was me too. You ... you never touched me, never initiated with me. I figured you weren’t interested anymore. Hell, the one time I tried to get in the shower with you, you screamed so loud Mrs. Lloyd next door called to see if I’d killed you.”

  She kept walking into the bathroom and grabbed a tissue to stop the tears. Everything he said was true. So damn true. She’d pulled away from him, putting up a nice neat wall between them that she wouldn’t allow him to penetrate.

  Even though leaving was cowardly, Renny realized now that Nicholas wasn’t entirely to blame for the fate of their marriage. It had been easier to lay all the blame at his feet since he ran. Renny was thirty-two years old, it was time to face the fact that her life had been royally fucked up by no one but herself.

  She wiped her eyes and went back into the bedroom. Nicholas’ gaze was filled with regret and confusion. She lay down on her side next to him and cupped his cheek.

  “I didn’t mean to drive you away.”

  “You didn’t. I ran away because I couldn’t stand the thought of hurting you. I felt so worthless as a husband and lover ... I ... I was a goddamn coward and I hurt you so much. Living with a stranger having once a week fumbling under the covers wasn’t enough, Renny.” He closed his eyes. “I needed more and you didn’t seem to want to give any more.”

  Renny froze. “What do you mean?”

  “I left out some hot movies, catalogs of sex toys and games; hell, I even started shaving my balls to make myself more attractive to you.”

  She’d remembered seeing the catalogs and the dirty movies and figured he was amusing himself. That fact alone had made her pull back even farther from him. It seemed as if he was cheating on her with himself, if that were possible.

  “You thought porn movies and dildos would help our marriage?”

  “Why not? Nothing else seemed to.”

  Renny rolled on her back and put her arm over her eyes. “What a couple of idiots we are.”

  The silence in the room was only broken by their breathing. It seemed like a mutually declared time out. She sat up and put her head between her knees, trying to make sense of everything he’d said.

  “What about the bat?”

  She lifted her head to look at him. “What about it?”

  “It was the only thing I asked for, but you refused to give it to me.” He shook his head. “I don’t get it.”

  A surge of anger rushed through her. “I hate that bat and I wouldn't give it back because it was the only thing in the divorce papers you asked for. You left me like a thief in the night, and you asked for a goddamn bat.”

  “I wanted you to have everything since I had been the one to leave.”

  “That's bullshit. When you left, you took everything that mattered to me.” Renny stood and headed for the kitchen. “I need a drink.”

  After Renny disappeared again, Nicholas let out an explosive breath and smacked his head onto the carpet. She thought he’d come back for the bat.

  Son of a bitch!

  He’d come to get one thing, a simple thing really, and it had turned into a night of craziness he’d never in his life expected. Renny seemed to have changed so much, he didn’t know what to think of her. After leaving, he’d spent months wallowing in self-pity for being such a failure as a husband. Then he’d finally accepted the fact that the marriage just wasn’t meant to be.

  That didn’t mean his feelings for Renny were gone. Far from it. Fact was, he still loved Renny. They’d met as sophomores in college and never even looked at another. Marriage followed graduation and somehow five years later, things slowed down from a whirlwind to a slight breeze. A few years after that, the wind was calm and their marriage seemed to bob like a cork in the water, going nowhere.

  He really hadn’t meant to hurt her, but he couldn’t stay any longer. Now he felt like their dull, lifeless marriage had turned into a wicked thunderstorm like the one that raged outside.

  He could only wonder what would happen when the storm passed.

  Renny drank the vodka straight. A double and then some. The liquor burned as it slid down her throat to her stomach. If she wasn’t careful, she’d get drunk and do something really stupid like tell Nicholas she still loved him.

  Her heart clenched and she pressed her fist to her chest as if to stop the pain. Why did Nicholas have to break in on that night? Two days after her friend Janie told her about the sex clubs and her ex-husband’s new proclivities for kinky sex. Apparently Janie’s date had thought it would be fun to go and she’d recognized Nicholas, wearing a collar and being led on a leash by some leather-clad bitch.

  Just the mental image of him behaving like a dog for a stranger made her head hurt. Another question she planned on asking him just as soon as she fortified herself again. She glanced at the clock, shocked to realize two hours had passed and Nicholas hadn’t once complained about being tied up. The knots weren’t tight, but still, he had to be uncomfortable. At least, she thought so.

  Perhaps being tied up wasn’t a bad thing in Nicholas’ new world. The question was, what would Renny do about it?

  Chapter Four

  Renny poured another vodka and sipped it slowly, pondering how she’d ask Nicholas about the sex club. It’s not something she’d witnessed first hand, Janie had ... A sudden thought had Renny choking on her drink.

  -->